Dear Cousin Buzz, First of all, I hope you had a great Christmas with the humans. As you can see from this picture, I am currently being detained in the Avian County Chicken Coop for a DUI. I guess I had one too many corn mash on Christmas Eve and, well you know how it is. Coppers were gonna let me off with a slap on the feather, but somehow it leaked that I made derogatory and bigotted remarks against buzzards and pigeons, but ya gotta help me out Buzz! You know I'm not like that. It was the corn mash! I love all birds, accept maybe those f*%#in' chicken hawks who always try to eat our young! And, okay, those damned dancing penguins who can't even fly!!! But I'm just bitter about that because they were mentioned in the Oscars and my film "Good Night, and Good Cluck" didn't even get honorable mention! I thought I did a great job as Edward Feathers Murrow. ANYWAY, you gotta help me out here. I know you that you know some people. At least lend me your lawyer. I promise I'll go to rehab at the Betty Fowl Clinic and clean up my act. I gotta movie coming out with Mel and I'll get you in a special show. It's called "Apocalypto" and I'm making a cameo in a sacrificial scene. My agent Murray says I'm at least lookin' at a Best Supporting Actor.

Well, Cuz, I hope you get me outta here soon, my cell mate is startin' to look at me funny!!!
Hurry, he's sayin' somethin' 'bout gettin' the cows after me???

Yers truly your cousin,
Fuzz Earl

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